Existential Crisis

0percent 001 Comic drawn by Emily Ulsh.


New Vloggers I’m Loving

I use Youtube quite frequently. The word “often” would actually be an understatement.  It’s either when I’m creating/posting new content, or simply just watching new content. I don’t ever watch Television, because Youtube is always my go-to. There are many reasons why I like to watch Youtube videos. One of which, is learning new stuff. There’s so many channels that literally cover anything you want to know–Science, Health, Fitness, Astronomy, Acting, Math Tutoring, and my personal favorite– Film and Photography.

I, just now, tonight, came across an extraordinarily talented photographer by the name “Jessica Kobeissi”. She doesn’t give much information on how long she’s been doing photography, or much of a resume at all for that matter (Trust me, I’ve searched). I’m just assuming she’s humble, because she’s reallyinsanely good. In just one hour, I learned lots of techniques and tricks she uses during her sessions; she also vlogs a bunch–which is awesome, in the way that you can see her implementing her tactics and ideas in real time, on location and in action.

Anyway, I will stop blabbing and let you see for yourself.

Her Youtube Channel

Define “Spare time”.

Ever since this quarter started, my freelance photography business started picking up a bit (Yesss!… But also, uh-oh..). I am very thankful to even make a penny off of something I am passionate about and although it’s very rewarding, it’s very stressful, too. There are days when I cry myself to sleep because there isn’t enough hours in the day to finish everything I need to do. I don’t get a lot of free time to myself. I don’t get help with my bills, I wasn’t given my car or college education money, I work really hard to support myself. I stress about working enough hours at my part-time job, while also making sure my homework is done on time. I don’t take naps. I don’t go out like a usual 21-year-old. I am always stressing.

When I DO have a couple hours to spare, I like to make Youtube videos (when I’m in the right mindset). It’s hard to put myself in that mindset of being creative and entertaining, though. Something to take the edge off, I just like being alone working on my videos or self-portrait edits. I like watching tutorials and learning how to do a new effect. I just like entertaining myself and being able to create. I’ve changed a lot the last couple years in the way that, I was always around friends, and just lots of people in general. I always loved talking and getting out when I could, just to hang with my clique. But now, I realize a lot that I want more “me” time. I don’t ever make a lot of time for myself.

Death before Decaf


I don’t really go out to eat very often, but I do grab a coffee at least four to five days in a seven-day week period. Most of the time, it’s Dutch Brothers Coffee. I was introduced to it when I was 15 years old, from my older brother who has caffeine habits. Dutch Brothers was the closest coffee shop in walking distance at one of the apartment complexes he lived in, and it was a normal routine for him to grab his fix every morning.

 What I love about it, is that the possibilities are endless. If you want something a certain way, they will do everything in their power to do so. I even worked for a stand for a short period of time, and it was great learning all the things behind the scenes.

My go-to has always been a Medium sized German Chocolate Mocha. It’s your basic mocha coffee, spruced up with 2 scoops of flavoring (1 coconut, 1 caramel) and it tastes just like my favorite kind of cake. It has the right amount of sweetness to it, and enough espresso to get me through a few hours of my day.

a Podcast I listen to

I don’t always listen to podcasts, because I don’t drive as much as I used to (I used to have an Hour+ commute to work until 2015)–But when I do listen to podcasts, I listen to “Hydrate Level Four Presents: Podstalgic”.

I became friends with a man by the name Peter in late 2015. I was working at the movie theater and sold him a ticket to the showing of our Triple-feature “Back to the Future” anniversary marathon. I got to talking with him (I went and saw the marathon as well) and learned he was very passionate about Podcasting, and that he’d been doing his for a while. He is also passionate about movies, and frequents my theater. He analyzes movies on his Podcast, old and new. He interviewed me for a bit for his newest episode, and I was (naturally) very curious to check his podcast out.

I know that around this time, Youtube had been blowing Podcasts up and Podcasts were becoming a more normal thing for bigger names to do. Peter showed me what he does for Podcasts and how he structures them, and how he always has guests come on his show and give some insight on the movies he reviews. I was lucky enough to be invited on to review my favorite film “Night at the Roxbury” (1998). One thing I found difficult was trying to be witty, or not say “Um” or “Uh” as many times as I would on a youtube video. Also, trying to be entertaining and having interesting things to say while disecting a piece of “art” is hard, too. I realized that there is a lot of hard work, dedication and consistency into making a great podcast, and It’s pretty similar to making Youtube video. It’s a competitive market, and may not be the easiest thing to get a large audience.

Listen to the podcast here.

What’s on my RSS feeds?

I just started using “Feedly” recently, and I kind of wish I had done it sooner. It’s probably the most efficient way to view posts from blogs I actually give a s*** about (unlike Facebook, where every post is about politics, memes or babies of friends). Another RSS feed I use (I think it’s RSS?) is “Pintrest”. I love Pintrest because it promotes so much DIY projects. I generally don’t like to read for fun–I only like to read if I’m learning something from the material I’m reading from. I read a lot of stuff I’m interested in knowing more about, or just for personal growth.

Who/what do I follow and why?

I follow many blogs about photo and video. Why? Because I want to learn how I can get better. I currently have my own freelance photo business, and I always try learning new ways to improve my skills with my camera/photoshop as well as good business tactics. I follow blogs that will have titles like “How to promote your business” or “How to sell your work”, or something along those lines. I also follow blogs that share a lot of Photoshop tutorials.

A good RSS feeder I would start out with is Feedly, because it’s easy and simple to use interface, and you are less than likely able to miss a post on something that might be important to read up on. Pintrest is more scatter brained, and you might get lost. Another thing with Pintrest is that there are so many duplicate posts–not necessarily plagiarized, but repetitive content you will see more than once.

My Writing Process

Usually, when I’m doing research, I love pulling little tidbits of notes from good sources (and citing those as I go, of course). It looks like a bunch of bullet points with shortened T9 text looking words. My notes look sloppy, too. I always hand write them (I don’t trust technology most of the time). Plus, flipping through my notes is easier than clicking through a bunch of obscurely named files on my computer. My organization skills on my desktop are less than mediocre (Okay, maybe not–just giving myself a hard time).

What do I do after writing bullet points?? I make a web. Webs really help me organize my thoughts and topics when writing a paper, and it’s never done me wrong. I honestly would recommend this to everyone, it just works so well. The core of the web is (obviously) the main topic. The stems from that main bubble in the center are probably 5-7 important points about said topic. Those points must be different from each other. Any that are similar, I just throw ’em under 1 stem. Each stem of points have maybe 3 extra little tidbits of information that help extend and back up that one point.

Now it’s on to writing the paper. I literally just look at my web and write my rough draft using all that information. I will write it, not type it. I don’t really take too much time doing that, because I will polish it in the edit process. While I’m revising it, I use thesaurus[dot]com way more than I need to. I add, subtract, and even arrange ideas in the paper, and correct my spelling errors. After that’s finished, I type up the completed work and make it look pretty.

Comic Sans used to be my go to font as a child.

Practicing my Art ~

“repeated exercise in or performance of an activity or skill so as to acquire or maintain proficiency in it.”
[Source: Google]

I’m always getting my hands on my cameras multiple times a week, whether it be 4 minutes or 4 hours–I can’t not touch it. I do freelance photography regularly, and the best part about it is (besides making money doing something I enjoy) I am always learning something new. Learning can be disguised in a number of ways. I’ve came across troubleshooting for clients, or messing up the “perfect shot”, or understanding a new trick to my camera when most inconvenient. You can f*** up something, so you choose to learn from it, or dwell on it. I also regularly do Youtube videos. I’ve made about less than $25 through adsense, but that won’t discourage me; because I simply do it for myself. It’s therapeutic, passes time, and gives me somewhat of a stage to show my preferred art form. I feel like that really shows people who I am. I love watching myself grow as I do these things and looking back at how far I’ve come. I’m glad I’ve pushed myself out my comfort zone every now and again, taken risks and feeling quenched by drive.

View my Photography Portfolio [Flickr]
View My Youtube Channel

About Me | Emily Ulsh

Hi, my name is Emily Ulsh (Ol’-Sh).

I’m 21 years old, and ever since I got my hands on a dinky little point-and-shoot camera when I was 12, I’ve been interested in making videos. The moment I heard they offered a video production program at my high school, I jumped on the opportunity of signing up and enrolling in the course. My teacher said he’d seen a lot of potential in me and noticed how fast I picked up the more intermediate and advanced skills in class. I was probably the only freshman in that semester that actually gave a hoot about learning/progressing my videographer skills. By the time I was a senior, I was given more privileges, helped with bigger projects and devoted hours every day to video production. Graduation was close, and I needed to finally decide where I would continue to embark on this journey of becoming a better independent filmmaker. My video teacher told me about the Integrated media courses at Mt. Hood Community College, and I right away scheduled myself for a tour.

What do I do now?

I make Youtube videos in my spare time. I started my first channel when I was 12. My current one is from when I was 15 or 16. I got some gold (or black mail, what ever you prefer) on there if you’re willing to dig to the bottom of my uploads. Oh, and also putting a few thousand dollars into school, y’know.


Because, it makes me feel good. It makes me happy, and it’s the perfect outlet for me. I love making things, I always have to be doing something with my hands. I love the whole creative process of it, too. I loved story boarding, I love writing scripts, I love filming, I especially love editing. It’s too much fun.

My Youtube Channel